I am glutton for punishment in so many ways. I have been with my master/hubby for 21 years now. The first part of our lives together, I recognize that I was kind of an abusive bitch. He never deserved the way I treated him 95% of the time. Including the fact I had 2 boyfriends, one of which moved in with us. Yet he stuck by my side, of course there were times he did or said things that were selfish. Normally he always gave up in the end to make me happy. With all relationships we have had our share of arguments. But I seriously want to keep that behind us now.
It is funny how things in life come full circle. As I age and become more aware of myself, I am realizing my deepest desires are very extreme. To some it may sound semi-abusive. But it is welcomed and wanted so I can not see it as that. I do thrive on being a very emotional person. Being all sorts of twisted inside sparks feelings both good and bad. But even the bad if channeled correctly is hot.
Outside of wanting to be cuckquean to this perfect man, that in every way deserves to be shared.
I have this need, to have him isolate me with the exception of things I am required to do. I would like to be discouraged of any self sufficient behavior and always need to rely him. To have him take away social interactions unless it includes him. Always telling me how selfish, greedy or unfeeling I have been in the past and to hold all of my wrong doing against me. This way, I always remember how lucky I am to have him in my world and that I should accept my place.
I know it may seem odd but even the thought of having him, using emotional blackmail keep me in a state of mind that is required is a huge turn on to me. He knows all my vulnerabilities, as well as deepest secrets after 21 years together. I know if he really wanted to he could do some serious damage. That thought alone makes my pussy drip.
In all honesty he does treat me very well, takes me out, gets me gifts to show I am appreciated. I want that part never go away. But to always be mind fucked, to have that constant tug of emotions is twisted little fetish of mine. This role flip is pretty new to both of us, I think he has a hard to coming to grasp with some of the things I like. It has to be hard to emotional screw with someone that for so many years had the upper hand. I want to know he means business, he is in charge! That I only have him for care and support.
Here are a few of the things that I know turn me on, could upset me, and get all my emotions stirring in a way to satisfy my emotional masochism.
Poking fun or mocking me either alone or in front of his personal friends.
Intentionally embarrassing me, making me Inferior to him.
Outside of wanting to be cuckquean to this perfect man, that in every way deserves to be shared.
I have this need, to have him isolate me with the exception of things I am required to do. I would like to be discouraged of any self sufficient behavior and always need to rely him. To have him take away social interactions unless it includes him. Always telling me how selfish, greedy or unfeeling I have been in the past and to hold all of my wrong doing against me. This way, I always remember how lucky I am to have him in my world and that I should accept my place.
I know it may seem odd but even the thought of having him, using emotional blackmail keep me in a state of mind that is required is a huge turn on to me. He knows all my vulnerabilities, as well as deepest secrets after 21 years together. I know if he really wanted to he could do some serious damage. That thought alone makes my pussy drip.
In all honesty he does treat me very well, takes me out, gets me gifts to show I am appreciated. I want that part never go away. But to always be mind fucked, to have that constant tug of emotions is twisted little fetish of mine. This role flip is pretty new to both of us, I think he has a hard to coming to grasp with some of the things I like. It has to be hard to emotional screw with someone that for so many years had the upper hand. I want to know he means business, he is in charge! That I only have him for care and support.
Here are a few of the things that I know turn me on, could upset me, and get all my emotions stirring in a way to satisfy my emotional masochism.
Poking fun or mocking me either alone or in front of his personal friends.
Intentionally embarrassing me, making me Inferior to him.
Telling me I am or would be totally worthless on my own with out him.
Name calling, putdowns berating, belittling, criticizing, using sarcasm and humiliation.
Isolation and telling me what I need to do. Excepting me to places all my needs aside for his own. Having him want to control my every action.
Isolation and telling me what I need to do. Excepting me to places all my needs aside for his own. Having him want to control my every action.
Threaten to expose my secrets such as personal or private sexual information or playing on my fears or guilt.
“Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.”
“Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take that to new extremes.”
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